Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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