Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
