I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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