New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
