even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
