I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
