He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
