Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
