I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize