someone threw a dead crab at me
I wish I only lived at night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
