you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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