best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize