areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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