Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
