exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize