If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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