marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
