More tranny stories later!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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