you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize