I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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