So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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