God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
