I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
