I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
