gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
