it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Farmville is her only friend.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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