My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
