There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
