come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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