She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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