this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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