I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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