I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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