cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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