Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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