4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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