I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
