Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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