you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
