Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
