There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
