As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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