Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
