You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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