Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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