i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
