I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
