I'm lost and stupid without you.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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