i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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