id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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