Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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