chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
