I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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