He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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