i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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