My room smells like vodka and shame
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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