never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
