drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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