Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
