? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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