# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
