his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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