I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
