Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize