You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
